Struggling to settle your baby to sleep?

10 April 2023

Have you been scouring the internet?

Searching "How to settle my baby to sleep", "why won't my baby sleep" and "can you die from lack of sleep?" (i've googled that one myself!) 

OR, have you been trying to find a sleep training / settling method that feels right for you, but you just don’t know what to do for the best?  If so, let me break it down for you.

First up, babies respond to settling methods differently by age.  They also respond to your attempts to settle them differently depending on their personality!  A lot of what I do as a sleep coach is help you to work all of this out - here are some pointers for you to consider.

Before attempting any settling method, the first thing you need to ensure is that their sleep foundations are in place.  That means great sleep environment, a sleep routine that cues sleep for them, the right schedule (wake up times, nap times and bedtimes) and you need to be committed to being consistent with all of these things AND the sleep method you choose.

0 -  4 months

In this age bracket, you’re basically looking at the contact nap life.  Helping them to sleep at this age is totally normal and nothing to worry about - although if you do want to be able to put them down in their cot to sleep then practice makes perfect!  Each day give your baby the chance to fall asleep in their cot from awake.  Don’t sweat it if they aren’t up for it, just pick them up and help them to sleep by rocking / feeding / whatever works.  My Pocket Sleep Coach Newborn Guide gives you loads of tips and tricks to help with sleep for this age range.

4 - 12 months

Within this bracket your baby will transform the way in which they sleep (known as the 4 month sleep regression).  Once they make this biological sleep shift, you will be able to look at more focussed settling methods if this is something you wish to do.

You can tell whether this is something your baby needs if they start to resist the way in which you are trying to settle them, they wake every 2 hours overnight and their naps are frustratingly short.

There are a number of settling methods for this age range - all of which can be successful if you are consistent with them, although some will work more quickly than others.  ESPECIALLY if you choose one that is right for the personality of your baby.  

Typically, an easy going or independent baby will settle quicker when given a bit more space (but always with a responsive approach - never Cry it Out alone!).  More hands on approaches (that you may have thought were extra gentle) can aggravate and lengthen out any upset for them.

A more anxious, sensitive baby however can respond really well to a hands on approach and, although it can take more time to establish, babies with this personality type can thrive with a gradual, slow approach.

12 months +

These little guys have got will power! Toddlers and young children will resist you for longer than a younger baby if you try to shake up how you settle them to sleep. The older they get, the more your approach needs to be about psychology and behaviour and less about the settling method itself.  The good news is, the older they are, whilst it can take a lot longer to make changes, you can reason with them and there are lots of different things you can put in place to help them.  Patience and consistency really are key for these older babies.

If you need help figuring out the right approach for your baby, book in a free call with me to see how we could work together to get your little one sleeping happily!

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