Twins and Sleep; a twin mum’s perspective!
10th Oct 2023
“Its twins” they said to me at my pregnancy scan. Sorry, what?!
I had NO IDEA what was in store for me as a first time mum to twins. I waltzed out of that room in a happy, excited, blissfully ignorant haze about how special and precious it was to be a twin mum.
And all of that is true. But what’s also true is that whilst there’s double the love, there’s double the sleep deprivation too!
And oof was it tough. There’s a reason interrogators use sleep deprivation as a form of torture. I would go to bed with a chilling fear of what the night would hold. I would tell myself “Its only sleep. I won’t die. I can hande this”. And then the night would commence. Night after night after night; one twin, then the other, then both, hours ticking by on the clock. Getting into bed and then getting back out of bed. Night after night after night.
There’s a reason i’m a sleep coach you know! I have a deep understanding of sleep deprivation and a deep desire to help those who find themselves in the same trenches that i was in!
But, if you’re an expectant or new twin mum reading this….don’t despair!! It IS possible to achieve sleep - and even GOOD SLEEP - with twins and I’m going to give you some pointers to get you there with advice i learnt the hard way so that you don’t have to!
-
Synchronise: For feeds and for sleep. If your babies are in sync you have a chance of getting some time for yourself! From time to time of course they’ll scupper your plans but if you can keep them in sync in the main for that first year, this really will help you rather than keeping track of who fed and slept at what time!
-
Recruit spare hands: You don’t have to pressure yourself into being able to handle bedtime and naps on your own. I know in some circumstances its just not possible but if you can then DO have someone else involved in bedtimes and naptimes! FYI: You’re not failing for finding bedtimes, bathtimes or (any times for that matter) difficult! Once you grow in confidence you may feel ok with doing bedtime by yourself, but don’t stress if that feels far off right now.
-
Remember their adjusted age: Its very likely that with twins, they’ll be premature. So you need to factor in what’s age appropriate for their ADJUSTED age up until they’re around 2 years old. So nap drops, sleep needs, sleep training, these milestones will all probably happen a little later for your babies than their singleton peers (and thats ok!!)
-
Self Settling: Whatever your parenting choices are, when it comes to helping your babies to sleep; be that contact napping, co-sleeping, or even feeding / rocking, it is undoubtedly more difficult with twins. That doesnt mean to say you cannot make this a reality if this is something you are keen to do - but please do make sure you have a support system around you to help you manage. For some, (myself included) teaching twins the ability to self settle is a necessity in order to have any chance of sleeping at night and managing during the day. That is nothing to be ashamed of. YOU need to survive and thrive in order to be there for your babies. And your babies need to sleep well in order to thrive too! So, if you decide to teach your babies to self settle, do so confident in the knowledge this is the right decision for you and your family.
This blog is a topic so close to my heart. Becoming a twin mum has certainly come with its challenges but it has also given me the privilege to watch a very special bond between two very much loved little girls. Its hard to explain all the intricacies of twin life to someone outside looking in. But its wonderful. What’s more, being a twin mum grants you access to become firm friends and supporters of any ANY twin parents you meet ANYWHERE.
If you have twins and need someone to turn to who really does ‘get it’, im here!! And if you need help getting sleep into a better shape - I’m here for that too! Drop me an email or book a discovery call to reach out if you need help with your twins' sleep today.
Interested in reading more of my thoughts on sleep? Join the mailing list and get a free Night Wakings and Naps Guide too!
Join the mailing list!